At What Cost?

My last post – The Antidote – linked to a post at the blog Hands Free Mama which was about the journey of letting go of the perfectionist’s desire to do it all for the sake of, paradoxically, having more.

In today’s post I want to make an important acknowledgement: there is a cost.

There is a cost to having more of something. That cost is having less of something else.

Australian currency

There is a cost to having more of something. That cost is having less of something else.


If you want to have more chocolote, you have to be prepared to have less money and, depending on how much more chocolate you intend to have, perhaps a less healthy figure.

Stating the blindingly obvious, right? Well, there is an aspect that may not be so obvious.
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The Antidote

I have written several times about perfectionism. Trying to achieve perfection would be a good thing if the energy it required didn’t so consistently get in the way of actually living a life that mattered to you and the people you love. Today I stumbled across a blog writer who I thought beautifully captured the paradox of one form of perfectionism: the need to do it all.

I miss out on what REALLY matters in life. And here is the part that caused teardrops to dampen the front of my shirt just like it does in a rainstorm: What I miss, I won’t ever get back.

She also offers an antidote, and says of her journey now:

I am witnessing and experiencing the simple, joyful things around me that I was too distracted to notice before. I am now free to grasp what really matters.

Her “about” post is what particularly grabbed me today (About Hands Free – Hands Free Mamma), but the rest of her blog is also well worth a look.

Compulsions: fast-acting anxiety relief! (With a price…)

As I have previously written, there are two key facets of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: obsessions and compulsions. In this post I want to explain what compulsions are, and why they occur.

Essentially, compulsions are actions or thoughts that are repetitively performed in an attempt to reduce or eliminate anxiety or distress triggered by obsessions. A compulsion may be an attempt to prevent obsessions from coming to mind (perhaps by repeatedly praying for such thoughts to be prevented, or repeating a phrase intended to block such thoughts), or it may be an attempt to prevent some feared outcome associated with the obsession (such as calling a friend to warn them to be careful after having an image come to mind of that friend being in an accident).

In the beginning stages of the development of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder compulsions provide fast relief from the anxiety or distress created by intrusive thoughts – uninvited, upsetting thoughts that can pop into our minds unexpectedly.
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Word perfect

The internet can be quiet a mind field because often what you read is unaccurate. Its partly because people rope learn facts or phrases without checking there source or based on what they have miss-heard. Its probably a good idea to be weary of facts that are presented without sighting reliable sources. If you’re curiosity is peaked by some new theory, do some background checking. Weather you learned a fact twenty years ago or yesterday is a mute point: it could turn out to be wrong. Maybe you could care less, but if you like to be accurate you could wet your appetite with a review of Wikipedias useful List of common misconceptions.

How many mistakes can you find in the text? 10 is average, above 14 is excellent.

This was a post put up yesterday on our Thrive Wellness facebook page. In case you’re looking for the answer, I thought it was between 16 and 18 depending on opinion on a couple of things (for example, “unaccurate” does appear in some dictionaries, and has a history of appearing in some literature but is generally considered a mispelling).
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The Serotonin Hypothesis of Depression

I am all for accurate information when it comes to managing your own health. Today I want to explore some misinformation about the causes and treatment of depression.

Serotonin chemical structure

Serotonin

You may have heard the idea, especially if you have ever been treated for depression, that depression is caused by a lack of a particular chemical, serotonin, in the brain. And you may have heard that antidepressants help lift depression by correcting this serotonin shortage.

The problem is, it isn’t true. Continue reading

There are stupid questions and there is no right answer

Human behaviour can be strange and fascinating. That is why I decided, back in high school, to pursue a career in psychology: because I was fascinated by human behaviour. (Yes, I told people it was because I wanted to find out what was wrong with me, and fix it. But I lied.)

I’d like to take you on a little journey into the fascinating world of human behaviour. As a starting point, perhaps you could solve the following little mathematical problem for me. Please humour me and don’t google it … yet. But you can use a calculator if you like:

1+5=12; 2+10=24; 3+15=36 then; 5+25=?

Please write your answer down, or at least remember it, before reading on.
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“I have an anger problem” – time for assertiveness

Often when people talk about having an “anger problem” what they really have is an aggression problem. What’s the difference?

I have often found that people whose aggressive behaviour lands them in trouble actually have very good reasons to be angry… but there is a problem with their anger being directed at the wrong people and being expressed in the wrong way.

Anger is an emotion that motivates us to take action. Our response to anger falls on a scale ranging from passivity at one end – taking no action and pretending we weren’t angry to begin with; and aggression at the other end – raging, shouting, punching, throwing …
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Four ways to handle a fight

Conflict. Most people hate it. Because we hate it, we usually do what we can to avoid it (an example of experiential avoidance). But sometimes avoiding conflict actually makes it worse.
Conflict creates anger
There are essentially four ways we can handle a fight or disagreement with someone – four broad types of strategy for handling interpersonal conflict.

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